未看这套片之前, 上网看到一篇超爆笑的评论. 一位个男士狂插这套片之桥段的荒谬和不和情理之能事, 简直达到令人发指的地步. 原文很长, 由于有朋友看不懂中文, 我特地将之翻译成英文, 不过凭我的能力, 当中的笑料很难原汁原味翻译出来, 也不知英语人能领会多少.
这套片轻轻松松将之当成是科幻片就行, 爆笑位笑下, 女士们别太认真对待才好.
單身男女 - 我老婆5分滿分給10分，我他媽的給0分的電影
Don't Go Breaking My Heart - If 5 score is full score, my wife give 10 and I give 0.
Son of the bitch! I can't remember the latest movie I have watched that make me so pissed off and want to cut the cinema's chair.
Tu Qi Feng (a film director), Wei Jia Hui(another film director), you two have blow off all our hope on you.
好吧，如果你是瓊瑤大媽的fans, 喜歡那種一群男主角毫無理由地就死心塌地喜歡上女主角的劇情，或者你就是古天樂或者Daniel ~~ (請用震音朗讀)的 fans, 那妳應該會看得high 翻天。
Ok. If you are a fan of Qing Yao (a famous love story writer), if you like the story which told you once male characters in love with girls, their love will be unshakable or if you a great fan of Johnny( a main actor of this movie) or Daniel (another main actor) ~ (please vibrate your throat), you should be very high when you watch this movie.
However, if you are a guy like me, your feeling should like taking shit.
××× 嚴重劇透注意 ×××
XXX Spoiler alert XXX
I have worked in Central for fucking 3 years, is it possible that a foreign beauty perform a strip show in front of a large window and then have one night stand with you? Would it happen? Would it happen? If there is such a good thing, I immediately quit my EO job and go back to Central to work. But it's ok, after all, it's a movie~~ Imaginary world ~~
Johnny and Daniel's characters depicted what kind of guys? One is CEO of an investment bank in Asia Pacific Region and super handsome guy, another is a boss of an architecture company and super cool guy. There is a proverb saying "ten years spiritual practice can make you take the same boat with someone, a thousand years spiritual practice can make you share a bed with someone." If it is true, then I believe Kao Yuan Yuan (the main actress) had started her spiritual practice when only trilobite existed in the earth. Why both men excelled in appearance and talent would fall in love with her unshakably on the first sight? For Daniel, you can say there has been mutual support, but for Johnny, he is a just a player. When Johnny see Kao Yuan Yuan the second time, he proposed marriage. Are those film director and script writer treat customer as a fool? A dupe? Or a simpleton?
I remember there is a passage saying:
(* ﾟーﾟ)σ “韋家輝炮製的浪漫追女技巧，值得男士們偷師。”
(* ﾟーﾟ)σ “Wei Jia Hui created movies to show techniques of romance, men should learn from them. ”
( ﾟДﾟ)∩ “都有些什麼浪漫技巧呢？”
( ﾟДﾟ)∩ “What are those techniques?"
(* ﾟーﾟ)σ “比如說打電話叫女孩來幫忙試跑車，然後說這輛車是你的了。”
(* ﾟーﾟ)σ “For example, you call a girl to test a car, and then say this car is yours."
( ﾟДﾟ)∩ “... ...”
(* ﾟーﾟ)σ “或者說要女孩來海景單位幫忙看樓，然後說這層樓是你的了。”
(* ﾟーﾟ)σ “Or you call a girl to buy a flat with sea view, and then say this flat is yours."
( ﾟДﾟ)∩ “... ...”
(*゜▽゜)ﾉ “That guy is too materialist, I share my techniques to you."
( ﾟДﾟ)∩ “你的浪漫技巧是什麼呢？”
( ﾟДﾟ)∩ “What's your techniques then?"
(*゜▽゜)ﾉ “It's so simple, you can use the lady's shadow to design a building."
( ﾟДﾟ)∩ “... ...”
(ノ ﾟДﾟ)ノ ＝＝＝＝ ┻━━┻ （翻桌） “ 他媽的我學條毛呀！”
(ノ ﾟДﾟ)ノ ＝＝＝＝ ┻━━┻ （turn the table upside down) “ How can I fucking learn it?”
當然，上面舉的例子並非全部，但是都他媽的是其他愛情電影炒到爛掉的舊橋而已，隔窗示愛的橋段在澳洲短片Sign裡能找到，post-it 砌圖案可從”全城熱戀“裡看到。我是該說天下文章一大抄，還是說 “借鑒！電影人的事，能算偷麼？” 呢？
Of course, all the examples above are not the whole storyline, however others are copycat from other movies. To say loving you over the window from another building is copying from an Australian video, "Sign". Using post-it to build a drawing can been seen from ”Hot Summer“. You know all people in cultural circle are paraphrasing from somewhere or using others as a reference. How can we criticise the film directors stole from others?
Besides, behaviour of Kao Yuan Yuan is incomprehensible, you cannot believe she gave normal responses, alright? When Daniel said he was an architect and supported you to pass through the sorrow from previous boyfriend, you promised his dating instantly. Then, you checked up Johnny's background from internet and found that he was a CEO, you forgot Daniel right away. OK, when you found that Johnny was a womaniser, you went to his office to make a scene. When you saw him again after several years, you confronted to him and resigned immediately. But then when he bought you a flat and a car, you smiled again。。。 You have just criticised Johnny a "cheap man" right before that!!!
凸(ﾟДﾟ#) “Is she a typical "Kong girl", isn't she?”
It's not finished yet! When Daniel cooked for you and performed magic, did every romantic acts, you felt so sweet and burst into tears, and then you went to date with Johnny immediately !!!
o(￣皿￣)o "對象搞錯了好不好！！ "
o(￣皿￣)o "Picking the wrong partner, OK??!!!"
Johnny was crazy too, how could he fancied other girls when he was almost able to win back the heart of the Kao Yuan Yuan? The lady was so angry that she fled back to home in Suzhou with Daniel. When Daniel said he loved her, she replied that she was still in love with Johnny. When Johnny was really willing to change for her, found someone to play violin and painted a bloody banner to propose marriage, Kao Yuan Yuan considered for awhile and then accepted the marriage proposal from Daniel!!
What's the structure of this lady's head!!! Who is the fucking script writer!!! How can the film director approve this kind of storyline!!!
All these are "vomiting blood"!!! For those happy husbands who accompany your wives to watch this film cannot bear it!!...!
I fucking bear enough for those directors using joint venture capital to make movies like this, the last honour of Hong Kong's films are swept away by you.
p.s. 女生們可以無視我的咆哮，如果妳們要的是被兩個靚仔毫無道理猛烈追求的感覺， 這部電影是我的誠意推薦。
p.s. Girls can ignore my roaring. If you want the feeling of two guys falling in love with you senselessly, this film is highly recommended.